Todd Ranck’s 25 Questionably Sexy Halloween Costumes
Womens' costumes tend to leans toward the "questionable" side of the costume spectrum. Halloween is the only time of year when anything and everything can be considered "sexy." Of course, that doesn't mean that every sexy costume is actually a good idea...as these twenty five disasters show.
You know, because there's nothing like sexualizing a character who's supposed to be a toddler. Although the "Elmo" part may just be that little hat, which looks a lot like Elmo eating that woman's head.
We'd ask who wants a sexy version of these beloved children's characters, but we really don't want to know the answer. At all.
Isn't the idea of a woman in a skimpy flyer's outfit contrary to the entire point of 'Top Gun?' You've seen the volleyball scene, right?
Because khaki is so flattering, and fighting the supernatural is best done in a mini-skirt and heels.
It's nice to see that cheap lingerie companies just attach a tail and some ears to their outfits and make a little extra money during Halloween.
We're pretty sure that 'To Catch a Predator: Halloween Edition' will be using this costume.
So, female ninjas wore face masks, Speedo swimsuits and combat boots? Where do they keep their weapons? On second thought, forget we asked.
Can't you achieve the same effect with a go-go dress and a pair of bug-eyed sunglasses from the drugstore?
"Who was that masked woman? And why was she wearing a skirt so short I could see her panties when she jumped on Silver? That can't be comfortable!"
Yeah, that pretty much ruined a whole bunch of treasured childhood memories, right there.
The really sad thing is that we had two choices here: a sexy Pippi in transparent stripper heels, which tops this article. Or this. It's advertising the wig.
We guess they went with an off-the-shoulder look to evoke a "square" image. Maybe instead they should have considered developing a Sandy Cheeks costume.
We're including this one just because we're shocked anybody would wear anything associated with the worst superhero movie ever made.
"Bob, what exactly are we going to do with all these yellow 'German beer girl' dresses we couldn't sell?" And thus a new costume was born.
OK, there's no possible way that the sexualization of 'The Wizard of Oz' could get weirder. What's next, sexy Tin Man?
Does tacking a tail on the back of some booty shorts and wearing matching ears with an ugly shirt really qualify as a "costume"?
Wouldn't wearing a bikini top and a tutu be cheaper? And more tasteful? And shouldn't the flamingo still be a croquet mallet, to crack creeper skulls?
One serving of hot spicy racism coming right up!
Was there really a need for a "sexy ringmaster" costume? There have to be people out there thinking "I need to wear a lampshade around my waist and pretend to be a sexy ringmaster," but who are they?
You know, there are some topics Walt Disney didn't explore for a reason.
Let's combine the creepiness of dressing like a mass murderer with the creepiness of dressing like the sexy version of a childhood toy. Um, yay?
We think we can safely sum up all our feelings about this costume with one word: "Ew." What's really sad is that this is one of several awful versions: this one is just the worst.
Every guy knows this as Mileena from 'Mortal Kombat,' but this costume has one very painful flaw: with the mask, meaning you can't eat or drink anything, you have a video game character costume. Without the mask, you will be mistaken repeatedly for a stripper.
Come on, this isn't a costume. Somebody put a satin jacket and a funny hat on over their cycling outfit.