In case you didn't, Phillies GM Ruben Amaro wants you to know: Shane Victorino is going to be a free agent at the end of the season.

No, I know -- you don't really care about Victorino. At least not to the degree that you do Cole Hamels, you know, the best-available up-and-comer who'll also be free to walk by 2012's end if he and the Phillies don't come together on a deal.

But Amaro, eminent Phils decision-maker and apparent Philadelphian news judger, doesn't care what you care about. At least not when he sat down with CSNPhilly yesterday to, presumably, address whether he'll address Hamels' impending free agency.

"Shane Victorino is also potentially a free agent," he said, again, despite being asked explicitly about Hamels being his No. 1 priority (which, in case you hate fist-sized laced leather, it should be). "We're going to have to look at that. I think Shane wants to stay in our uniform, as I think Cole does as well. And we're trying to keep him in our uniform."

That's a "him" which, if you're a real stickler for what you're assuming is perfect English there, actually refers to Victorino. Not Hamels.

Here's where it would get really interesting, if, again, Amaro wasn't so hell-bent on smushing Victorino's situation into focus.

"It kind of takes two to tango," he said, not-so-subtly suggesting that Victorino's camp has been a raging pain in the ass, which we, the ultimate non-carers about Victorino's contract developments, wouldn't know anything about, given our relative disinterest with anything having do with anyone other than Cole Hamels. (And maybe Hunter Pence. Maybe.)

"But we're still cognizant of it, and when it's the appropriate time, we'll deal with those contracts."

Again: Not contract. Contracts.


I get what he's doing, using Victorino to shield questions about Hamels like he's Captain Freaking America. But it's so hilariously transparent it actually hurts. Makes me feel like Tony Romo and Tim Tebow.