Todd Ranck Wants to Know, Who’s Your First Pick in the Fantasy Football Girlfriend Draft?
You thought of a clever team name (the RumHams). You picked your squad. You’ve got your lineup set for Sunday. You’ve killed a yack as a symbol of something something to the sports gods. You are officially ready for football season…Almost.
Every fantasy football player needs a fantasy football girlfriend because none of us have real girlfriends. HARHARHAR that joke never gets old and let’s just add we live in our parent’s basement for good measure.
One of the best things about being a professional athlete (after the satisfaction of developing a skill, being successful, and being filthy rich, of course) is the babes. For every Superbowl-ring-wearing player, there is a beautiful woman in the stands cheering him on who also happens to live in his house. Lucky bastards.
In the spirit of all things fantasy and picking favorites, we’ve assembled our fantasy football girlfriend first round draft picks below — Who you got in the first round?
Janelle Winslow [Wife of
Seattle Seahawks Tight End Kellen Winslow]
Heather Mitts [Wife of St. Louis Rams Quarterback AJ Feeley]
Anna Burns [Wife of New England Patriots Wide Receiver Wes Welker]
Abby Manning [Wife of NY Giants Quarterback Eli Manning]
Jessie James [Girlfriend of Denver Broncos Wide Receiver Eric Decker]
Candice Crawford [Wife of Dallas Cowboys Quarterback Tony Romo]
Gisele Bundchen [Wife of New England Patriots Quarterback Tom Brady]
Kristin Cavallari [Wife of Chicago Bears Quarterback Jay Cutler]
Carrie Prejean [Wife of Oakland Raiders Quarterback Kyle Boller]
Sigh. We’ll be in our armchairs. In our parent’s basement.