Happy Holidays From The Sportsbash: Ryan Messick Recites This Christmas Classic During Dallas Week
97.3 ESPN FM and 'The Sportsbash' would like to wish you a happy holiday season before we get set for the biggest Eagles regular season game in several years.
With that said, our Eagles insider Ryan Messick had a little fun with this Christmas classic in honor of Dallas week.
It's a visit from Saint Nicholas:
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through Jerry's big open roofed house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The enormous video board was hung in the building with care,
with hopes that Tony Romo would somehow be there.
Dez Bryant was nestled all snug in his bed,
His security guard put him there, cause Dez will be Dez.
Jerry in his kerchief and Jason in his cap,
And a post-dated pink slip, was Garrett's tenure a wrap?
When outside that weird glass hallway arose such a clatter,
They ran out to see just what was the matter.
Away to the window Romo flew like a flash,
He heard it was a country singer, but it wasn't Jess or Carrie, alas.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,
Gave a luster of midday to the Cowboys cheerleaders below.
When what to their wondering eyes did appear?
But a man in a visor and eight tiny reindeer.
With a big, young driver - pretty lively, but not so quick…
They knew in a moment he was either Napoleon Dynamite or Saint Nick.
As rapid as Eagles his teammates, they came,
And Foles whistled and shouted and called them by name:
"Now, Shady! Now, Bryce! Now, Brent and Zach!
On, Riley! On, Jason! On, Brad and D-Jack!
Inside zone, outside zone, around blockers like a wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!
As Eagles before the playoffs they fly,
When they meet with the Cowboys they mount to the sky.
So down to Jerry World, the Eagles offense they flew,
With a sleigh full of Chip's play's, and Saint Nicholas too…
And then, in a twinkling, Romo heard on the roof…
The prancing and pawing of linebackers hoofs…
As he cowered in fear and tried to run around,
Down the chimney Saint Nicholas came with a bound.
Behind him was Eskin, dressed in fur from his head to his feet,
And up on his head was a white pair of Beats.
A bundle of records Foles flung on his back,
Tony winced in pain as Saint Nick opened his pack.
His eyes, how they twinkled! His dimples, how merry!
And why Tony noticed that? That's a little scary!
Witten's droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
How they'd beat the Eagles with Orton he just did not know,
Then Jerry, he scowled, as he gritted his teeth,
From up in his box, he saw Orton sacked thrice down beneath,
Thornton had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.
Logan was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And Fletcher laughed when they sacked Orton, and had one for himself.
A wink of Cole's eye and a twist of his head,
soon gave Birds fans to know they had nothing to dread.
Barwin spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Boykin filled all the stockings with pick sixes as he lurked.
Then Chip laid his finger aside of his nose,
and giving a nod, up the chimney he rose.
Saint Nick sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
and away they all flew, Dawkins-esque, like a missile,
Then I heard them explain, ere they drove out of sight….
Merry Christmas to all, but Dallas Sucks tonight!