Extra Points: Chiefs Roll Over Eagles
PHILADELPHIA - I was just about finished with my daily dip in the ocean Saturday when the wave broke and rolled toward me.
I was caught in no-man's land, too close to shore to dive under it, too far out to try to outrun it. It barreled into me like a blitzing linebacker, washing over me and tossing me toward the beach. I wound up on my back in ankle-deep water with my bathing suit around my thighs and sand in every orifice.
My daughter is still laughing.
The Eagles' defense also got caught with its pants down Sunday at Lincoln Financial Field.
Quarterback Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs offense rolled through defensive coordinator Jonathan Gannon's unit like a tsunami, scoring touchdowns on six of their seven total possessions in a 42-30 victory.
Mahomes threw five touchdown passes, tying the record for most TD passes against the Eagles.
Wide receiver Tyreek Hill, who celebrates TDs with a back flip, wound up performing the maneuver more often than Olympic gymnast Suni Lee.
The defeat, combined with last Monday's 41-21 loss at Dallas, marked just the fourth time in franchise history the Eagles have allowed 41 or more points in back-to-back games. They also did so in 2015, 1966 and 1943, though they had to share the blame in '43. That was the season they merged with Pittsburgh to form the "Steagles."
Eagles critics will be tempted to place blame on head coach Nick Sirianni and quarterback Jalen Hurts for a lack of efficiency in the red zone. The Eagles were 3-for-6 inside the 20,
with two touchdowns nullified by penalties.
But that's not bad considering they were missing four-fifths of their starting offensive line. Right tackle Lane Johnson missed the game because of what the team termed a "personal issue," leaving center Jason Kelce as the only blocker who also started the season-opener.
They did a respectable job, aside from a couple penalties on left tackle Andre Dillard. Hurts completed 32 of 48 passes for 387 yards and two touchdowns with no interceptions. Rookie wide receiver DeVonta Smith had seven receptions for 122 yards.
"They battled," Sirianni asaid. "They played hard and they played physical. We have a lot of warriors in that group."
The running game was unproductive again, but that's to be expected when you're forced into a track meet.
Trying to keep pace with the Chiefs' offense is akin to running a 100-meter dash against Usain Bolt, circa 2016. It won't be long before you're left in the dust.
And that's on Gannon and the Eagles' defense. Tackle Javon Hargrave had the only sack. Tackle Fletcher Cox put up a goose egg in every category. End Derek Barnett had his weekly costly penalty, this one a roughing-the-passer foul. Aside from an interception by linebacker Eric Wilson in the third quarter - the Eagles' first interception of the season - every Chiefs' possession ended in the end zone.
It turns out I would have been better off skipping the game in favor of the final round of the ShopRite LPGA Classic or another beach day.
Had I done so, I would have avoided the five-car fender-bender on the Atlantic City Expressway. Actually four of the cars had bent fenders while my 2013 Hyundai Elantra now has a hood that looks like an accordion.
I should blame it on Jennifer Neville, who was my playing partner in the ShopRite's Pro-Am on Wednesday. As a celebrity astrologer, she could have told me the moon and stars weren't properly aligned.
At the very least, she could have saved me from the full moon I flashed at my fellow beachgoers on Saturday.